A week…….A week God damn you!!!

Myself and my partner have now gone a full 7 days without the usual daily intake of Nicotine, tobacco & tar! Gone from a 20 a day habit to zero baby!! Considering I never really actually wanted to give up I think I’ve done bloody well. The reason we did decide to call it a day with the Satan sticks ( although that sounds like it could be some sort of erotic sex toy) was because of my soon to be 4 yr old daughter who picked up one of our boxes and proclaimed “I want to try one”. Me & my partner looked at eachother despairingly and said “last box?”     Now, we have said this phrase many times before but it is usually followed a few hours later with “Fuck it, I bought another box!” . Not this time, this time its forever (que the Doff doff’s for the Eastenders cliffhanger).

It has now been about 6 weeks since I started my Wing Chun Martial arts course or self defense as my partner so lovingly calls it For those who don’t know, and I’m assuming there are quite a few, Wing Chun was the martial art originally studied by Bruce Lee before he adapted it to create his own style ‘Jeet Kune Do’. I have always wanted to learn Martial Arts and that passion has only grown since I started a family. I suppose its because I now feel that if, god forbid, any situation should arise were I would have to protect my family I could do it. I’ve never been an aggressive man and have (said quietly…) never been in an actual fisticuff fight!! So I dont  know if, when  faced with danger, I would run away screaming like a little girl who’s seen a huge spider! (to be fair I do that anyway). For those of you interested here is a little video describing Wing Chun – http://youtu.be/i7gFbUc2-d8

So what else has occured this week in the Lala land of celebrity and fame……..

Is it finally over? The bloody Cheryl Cole X Factor debarcle has been rumbling on now for far too long. She’s in, she’s out, we don’t know……. but what we do know is that we are all bloody sick of it! Alledgedly she is still due to receive her handsome £1.5 million pay check, so I don’t get why everyone is feeling sorry for her, she’s has done a couple of days work and has been paid ridiculously for it. Although apparently she is using the trauma, huge media exposure and humiliation to help write, oh no …….sorry, sell her new album This exposure will only make her more loved by the people’s and she will  be welcomed into the arms of the Americans once she marries Will.I.Am and has little tiny eyed pods……..the world will be great once more

A poll was carried out this week of countries with the most comical comedians. Top of the poll came the Americans, which is obvious becuase they bloody win everything The Germans came last and to be honest I could have probably guessed that. The UK came 7th with the  message “we think we are funnier than we actually are”. This is probably about right as I am always the only one who laughs at my jokes although looking back I do always tend to have my cock out so……….:) Full story here – http://www.mirror.co.uk/news/top-stories/2011/06/07/germans-comedians-named-least-funny-in-poll-of-15-countries-115875-23184360/

On an inspirational note, the ex stuntman and daredevil Eddie Kidd finally finished the 26 mile London Marathon this week after a gruelling 2 months! For those that do not know, Eddie suffered severe injuries to his head and pelvis when performing a 50ft jump on his motorbike in 1996. It left him with mobility issue’s and speech problems which is why I have great respect for him and all those who face life changing injuries and still battle to inspire others! a big WELL DONE!

Kidd completes London Marathon after 2 months!

A week in Celebrity land would not be the same if our beloved and forever eccentric Lady Gaga didnt cause a gasp or two! She has been out and about this week at various events showcasing her ever shocking fashion sense. It makes me wonder, do we actually get suprised by her anymore considering this is a Lady who appeared at an awards ceremony wearing Pork chops……..errrr for me then, no!! Thinking about it though when she gets to about 60 and her years of glory that fame have gifted her are coming to an end, her youthful complexion is waining and her nipples are tickling her toes will she still step up to accept her lifetime acheivement in music award wearing Camel shit and a Pigs head?? Just wouldnt be the same would it, although I think thats something she could easily bust out on the town now, anyone got Gaga’s email?

This is the story of a man who went to the doctors with a toilet brush stuck up his arse!! A toilet brush, he obviously fell awkwardly……………….yea obviously (crazy sex games). Come on, who’s idea was that and did he have a camera Brilliant, you gotta love people